So I’ve actually started writing 3 times in the past couple of weeks but each time life has just got in the way…. it’s been a pretty hectic couple of weeks to be fair, smallest boy has been poorly, there have been several GP trips, an out of hours trip,  several new medications with varying results….

On top of that, hubby is recovering from a “procedure” which involves me laughing at him a little too much and not giving him any sympathy – despite him requesting it often…. and I’ve just spent WAY too long melting in the heat at biggest boys parents evening….(which was incredible I should add- I am immensely proud of how  much that boy has grown up this past year)

all in all I think it’s pretty fair to say that I am exhausted!!

smallest boys latest diagnosis is hay fever/allergies and possibly (allergic) asthma too…. so antihistamines (that had to be prescribed unlicensed as there’s nothing licensed for his age… that then made him WAY too sleepy 😞) and inhalers alongside his new sunglasses (to keep the pollen out- though they’ve earnt us some funny looks!!) Vaseline (to smear around his nose and mouth to try and do the same) and nose drops are now sitting alongside his gaviscon and eczema creams in a seemingly never ending cycle of trying to keep him happy…. it’s been one hell of a week to say the least but my fingers are firmly crossed that today has been a MUCH better day and I might’ve figured out the right doses/timings  etc to help him enough without knocking him out…. let’s hope I haven’t spoken too soon…

all that being said, hectic as it might be. we’re still living in our happy little family bubble and enjoying (almost) every minute…. life can throw whatever it likes at us…. were forever thankful for what we have, and nothing’s going to bring us down!

Good job I love them

So, a few days ago I was laughing to hubby that I couldn’t wear a cropped top… “you have seen my belly right?!” I said….

to which biggest boy who was walking along behind us replied “yes Mum, it looks like you’ve lost 25 stone in a week so you’ve just got skin left”….. charming…. it’s a good job I love him!

on that note it’s probably a good job I had a physio appointment this morning to try and repair some of the damage all these babies have done to my body…. I’m not holding out much hope that it’ll work, although there has been a little improvement since my last appointment apparently, though I’m not actually too bothered these days anyway… there was a time I couldn’t look at my body without hating it, these days I’m pretty proud of all it’s been through and the 4 gorgeous children it had produced…. and regardless of their cheeky comments I wouldn’t change any of it for the world!



Sunday was our beautiful boys christening day….. now those who know me well will know that I am not a religious person, my children go to a church school but that’s because it’s our local school not because of religion, I don’t go to church unless it’s for a special occasion, or for something the kids are doing through school…. although I do have to admit that I do love that they are part of a church school, I love their sense of belonging to the church and I love going to church to watch their services etc

Its not that I’m anti religion at all – in fact I am sometimes a little envious of people who have strong beliefs, but for me, religion has just never really played a big part in my life….!it’s not something I spend much time even considering – maybe that’s wrong of me?! But in all honesty I probably lost what little faith I might have had when I was younger after losing my beautiful girl….

We chose not to get married in church because we didn’t believe it was the right thing to do as we don’t actively practice religion…..

None of our other children have been christened – we had naming ceremonies for both big boys which were held in a church and led by a vicar, but they weren’t actually christened because we chose not to….we felt it would be a little hypocritical of us to christen our children into a faith we don’t actively practice…

So, it may seem a little ridiculous after reading all this that we chose to have our beautiful boy christened this weekend….

BUT there is a reason of course, whatever I may or may not believe, several people close to us spent a lot of time and energy praying that we would get to bring home a happy healthy baby, and of course we did….

even my completely non religious hubby decided that finding out that I was pregnant on Easter Sunday, and being due on Christmas Day was some kind of sign that everything would be ok this time…. he took some small degree of comfort in that, and it helped him to believe that things would be ok, he took the decision upon himself to ask people we knew to include us in their prayers, and he made a promise to himself that should we get to bring a healthy baby home with us, that he would take them to church….

Who knows whether prayers were answered? Who knows whether it was some kind of sign? Who am I to make that decision?  BUT …. he is here, safe and well, and lots of people took the time to pray for him, and for us, and whether the outcome has anything to do with them or not we will never truly know….

so all we can do is be grateful, grateful that they cared enough to try, grateful that they felt they could use their faith to help us, and above all else, grateful to have our beautiful boy with us.

The decision to have him christened was not taken lightly, but we felt a massive need to say thankyou, to celebrate our beautiful boy with all of those people who had been alongside us throughout our very long journey. We decided that getting him christened could only be a good thing, and that although we don’t regularly take him to church, and I don’t anticipate that changing ( although his first trip out was to his big brothers Christmas carol concert in church!) we decided that people’s prayers for him could never be a bad thing.

We chose godparents for him carefully, and after a lot of thought and consideration we chose 6 people (he’s a very popular boy!) who we know love him dearly and who we want to be a part of his life forever, who we know will always be there for him and help him in his journey through life, just as they have helped us on our journey to get him here.

We all had a lovely day, the 3 biggest kids took part in the service (some more reluctantly than others 😂) it was personal, and at points filled with laughter as well as thanksgiving. we were surrounded by so many family and friends, and we celebrated afterwards with lots of cake and catching up with people we just don’t see often enough.

Our beautiful boy was surrounded by all of the people who love him, and was spoilt with love, cards and gifts…. so right now we’re feeling very blessed, he is certainly a very lucky boy 💙🌈💙



4 months…

4 months…. there’s not much more I can say really (partly due to having about 30 seconds peace to write all day!)

this week has brought a lack of sleep – id never heard of 4 month sleep regression until now 😴, a reflux diagnosis, and yet more new eczema creams….

the plus side being that the reflux meds and new cream definitely seem to be working, the downside being that I am absolutely exhausted, it’s school hols and I’ve very nearly lost the will….

still, today is a new day, and we need to get christening preparations underway, so we have a very busy couple of days ahead baking enough cakes to feed all our family and friends should keep the kids busy at least!!


It seems like such a distant memory now, but last year Easter weekend was when we found out our smallest little man was on his way….  (it wasn’t quite a year ago, it was the 15th/16th April last year – and to mark that date we will be getting him christened 😍)

It feels like YEARS ago to be honest… although I think a less than straightforward pregnancy made for 9 of the longest months ever!!

Last Easter was very different to this one, we were happy of course – we’d given up the hope that we’d ever have another baby by then after over 4 years of trying, but we were also terrified – after 2 heartbreaking missed miscarriages the previous year we had almost no strength, and zero hope left…. I don’t think any of would’ve imagined that we’d be spending this Easter with our family complete.

But it is, our smallest man is now 16 weeks old (how on earth has that happened?!)  and we’ve never been happier, this year we’ve spent a lovely weekend together being thankful for what we’ve got and how far we have come. (Whilst consuming lots of chocolate – what’s not to love!)

I have nearly 2 weeks with 4 of our children now, a chance for more fun and laughter — (and probably a lot of arguing and moaning too!) and hubby has a few days off too so we can all have some fun and make some memories together.

The school holidays are ending with smallest mans christening, exactly a year after we knew he was joining us… the last couple of days of the holidays will be spent baking enough cakes to feed all of our family and friends, as we will be spending the day surrounded by them all, celebrating how lucky we are to have finally come to the end of a very long journey, and to have this beautiful boy here safely, completing our family 🌈💙🌈




Time is flying…

Our smallest boy is 15 weeks old now, he’s no longer a “newborn” and is changing so incredibly quickly, he’s developed his own little personality, a gorgeous smile and the most beautiful laugh…. in a way I’m missing the newborn stage already, but knowing that we are never going to do this again makes me cherish every single moment, every new day and new change in him makes me so incredibly happy and proud too…. watching him giggling and playing with his toys melts my heart every single time…I still on occasion can’t quite believe he’s really here and he’s really ours!!

This week has brought with it more sleep (enjoying it whilst it lasts 😂), more giggles, and a new round of eczema treatment – which fingers crossed seems to be working a lot better than the previous ones. We’re now on a regime of 3 different creams, a total of 8 times a day – at 6 separate  times…. it’s pretty full on and very time consuming – but hopefully it’ll be worth it and get it under control.

The big boys break up from school tomorrow for Easter, 17 whole days off, and hubby has some time off too so we’re all looking forward to some much needed family time (and hoping for a little sunshine too – or at least no more snow… I need spring!!)

hopefully the next couple of weeks will be spent recharging our batteries, relaxing a little and enjoying some time together – in reality I’m more likely to spend the majority playing referee between the big boys but still, I can hope they’ll be lovely moments too!!


International happiness day…

So, this morning started grumpily, littlest man was up at least 6 times in the night (instead of his usual 2 – yes I know I’m lucky he sleeps so well normally!) so I was pretty tired (understatement 😴)

I was then reminded by middle boy how long it is until we go on our holidays (to the exact number of days – seriously?!) and started having a panic about saving up (or lack of 😬) etc, so it’s safe to say by the time I’d done the school run and spent 2 hours cleaning whilst rocking a grumpy baby I was pretty fed up…

I came home and sat down for 5 minutes peace and saw a few things posted online telling me that it’s “international happiness day”…. so instead of using my few minutes peace to sit and eat biscuits and feel sorry for myself I decided to pull myself together, stop being grumpy and focus on the things in my life that make me happy.  I’m counting my blessings once more.

first off has to be my children of course – they are the reason I get up every day, the reason I live and breathe, the reason I smile even when I don’t feel like smiling (in fact ESPECIALLY when I don’t feel like smiling) they are my life, my world, and even when they drive me absolutely round the bend and push my patience to the limit (which to be completely honest is most days!!) they have all brought immense happiness to my life and continue to do so every single day.

of course I’d be lying if I said they make me happy all of the time, there are days/times when they can reduce me to tears (the biggest boys at least – though I’m sure in time smallest boy will develop the ability to do that too 🙈) but that’s what being  mum is all about isn’t it? taking the rough with the smooth, being that person they can take all their frustration and anger out on safely, and the happiness far outweighs anything else.

Watching them together is what makes me the happiest at the moment, watching the love the bigger ones have for their baby brother is amazing and makes all the difficult moments fade into the distance, and seeing smallest boys face light up when he sees them after they’ve spent all day at school is priceless.

So my rubbish nights sleep seems much less terrible now, when I am privileged enough to wake up to 3 amazing little (and not so little) men every morning – this time last year I wouldn’t have even dreamt that this was possible!

my long suffering husband should probably come next, although he drives me almost as mad as the kids do some days there’s no one I’d rather have by my side on this incredible journey (i could go on and on about how amazing he is – in fact that could be a whole blog post in itself – but if he happens to read this id never hear the end of it so I’ll keep it short 😉)

he works  A LOT to provide for us all, so that I can stay home with the kids and for that I’ll be forever grateful. He makes sacrifices for us all, all of the time, and he is the most amazing daddy to our 2 smallest boys (and my stepdaughter) and a brilliant stepdad to biggest boy too.

He’s been my rock for the past 7 1/2 years and brought so much happiness into my life….our little family may be put together differently than most but it’s bloody amazing and is the main source of happiness in my life.

His love and support have had a huge impact on my parenting choices this time round, and my confidence, and I really am enjoying every single moment…. (I’d better stop now before hubby gets too big headed!)

my incredible family have to come next – I talk a lot about my “little family” and my “bigger family”, I am so incredibly lucky to be so close to them and equally our children are so lucky to be growing up with so many close family members. I am told frequently by many people how lucky I am to have my parents so close by and how lucky our children are being surrounded by grandparents etc…. I have to admit that to me that’s just normal…. I grew up a few doors down from my grandparents, and after my grandad died when I was only young my nan came and lived with us, i was so incredibly close to her, and I am incredibly grateful that our children have the opportunity to be so close to their extended family too.

We are blessed with 6 beautiful nieces too, 6 cousins for our children to grow up alongside, each of them bringing even more happiness (and often chaos!) into our lives. And a handful of close friends who I love dearly and have been there throughout the good and the bad, I really couldn’t ask for much more.

My morning stress about saving for holidays seems a little silly now  too – we are lucky that we even get to go on holiday – the opportunity to spend a whole week together as a family having fun and making even more memories – memories that the kids (and us grown ups) will laugh and smile about for many many years – money seems pretty insignificant in all that (and everyone likes beans on toast anyway – I’m sure we can all survive off that for a few weeks whilst we’re saving up right?!)

I’ve rambled on for far too long now (and wasted the whole of smallest mans nap writing this instead of doing anything productive 😂)

Basically, today I’ve realised I have a lot in my life to be happy about. Those things that make me unhappy and grumpy are pretty insignificant and sometimes (far too often) I waste too much time and energy stressing about the little things… things that are either insignificant or that I have no control over. So my mission today is to make more of an effort to embrace happiness and let the little things go….. (and go buy more beans 😂) let’s see how long it lasts!