Thought I’d give my long suffering husband a break from my moaning and do it here instead!!
weve finally got to the 36 week mark, the finish line is almost in sight, it really won’t be long until we have our precious little one in our arms….
We have our last scan and consultant appointment on Monday – where we get to make a plan for delivery – hopefully it’ll all feel more real then…
however that isn’t stopping me from being incredibly grumpy!! (So I keep being reminded anyway!!)
I of all people should be embracing every moment of this pregnancy, after all it’s been a very long journey to get this far….and believe me I’m trying….
However I’m shattered – sleep just isn’t happening very much at the moment….
hungry…. this diabetes diet is really rather difficult for someone as fussy as me…. the majority of foods I would normally eat are now either completely off limits or rationed!! and although the diabetes consultant being incredibly pleased with how well I’m doing did make it all seem much more worthwhile, knowing I’m doing everything I can to protect this baby, it sadly doesn’t stop it being really fucking tough….
and increasingly bored and fed up…. I have a huge list of jobs that need doing before baby arrives, but the majority of them I just can’t physically do myself….. hubby is at work every day doing 12 hour shifts so there just aren’t enough hours in the day for him to get stuff done at home too… luckily my boys are being incredibly helpful and helping me out lots round the house, but it’s SO frustrating not being able to get stuff done properly 😡
I’m sick of sitting in the house all day looking at all the things that need doing…. but then I’m too exhausted to do much else… or actually can’t do much else…. my very restrictive diet means I can’t even go for a trip to the local coffee shop as there’s nothing there that I can (or will) eat or drink….
Im trying to save my energy for after school and the weekend so the boys aren’t too fed up with me… they don’t deserve to be stuck in with moaning mummy all the time….
i just can’t win really…. I feel guilty for not enjoying these last few weeks of pregnancy, afterall I’m never going to be doing this again…. and I feel guilty for not making the most of every single moment with my boys before their new sibling arrives and life becomes even more chaotic….
i feel guilty every single time I moan, and every time I get annoyed with someone’s stupid comment…. I really wouldn’t change any of this for anything in the world…. this pregnancy, this baby is all we’ve hoped for for the past 4 and a half years, and the journey we’ve been on to get this far has been hell…. I really am thankful for every single second of this pregnancy, for every single kick, every minute of lost sleep, and every single worry I have about this baby…. we really had given up hope of ever getting this far
So enough of the “woe is me” rubbish…. im incredibly lucky to have what I have right now and to have got this far, so I’ll carry on being grumpy to myself, stamp my feet a bit, then pull myself together, focus on the positives and paint on a smile…. it really will all be worth it…. I just need to keep reminding myself of that…